I've decided that I'm not going to plug in my sewing machine again until I finish the minor maintenance on the master bath, and after that I'm going to paint and re-arrange the office and claim the walk-in closet here for my very own. All books, diplomas and electronic gadgetry that could be useful-but-aren't will be packed up and gently placed in what will then become Gavin's walk-in closet. I've come to the understanding--at last--that part of a happy, healthy relationship with another person is to reserve some space for your very own to be as tidy or piggy as you like and not be nagged about it or constantly nagging.

This room will be mine. It will be blue. I will put shelving up to hold all my sewing supplies. It will have white curtains. My son can play in my closet with my shoes without fear of injury.

It's going to be awesome!

I'm going to veer off from my usually scribblings and talk a little about more personal stuff.

I spent some time yesterday reading Uly's blog and it was a warming reflection, unlike any of my attempts to document my goings on earlier in my life. Parenting, as exhausting, confusing, and disorienting as it has been, is also the most character-redefining experience I've ever had. I believe with all my heart that I am truly a better person--and certainly more patient--because of this experience. I may often be tired and complain-y but I am actually enjoying a consistent level of happiness like I've never had. I certainly feel more settled. Two-and-a half years we've lived in our home in Oak Ridge. This is the longest I've ever lived in any one dwelling. Still, there are many boxes unpacked and hundreds of pictures waiting to go on walls. I just can't seem to believe we're actually staying put. I'm not normally superstitious but I have some dorky fear that if I put things on the walls I will be moving shortly thereafter, so I have been reluctant to do so. I know this is lame and I ought to make a promise to myself to have one wall "pictured up" by Thanksgiving. Hmm, that's actually not a bad idea...

Parenting:

More and more I come to see the differences between my parenting style and of those of most of my community. I have little respect for arbitrary rules and I believe children--even very young--should be allowed to make a great deal of their own decisions. I will nurse my son, regardless of how difficult this is for most of our adult population to get a grip on themselves, for as long as his needs require, and I absolutely will not feed him with a blanket over his head or in a toilet. Ever. Period. I will though find the quietest, least traveled area to avoid excess interruption or undue stress. I hope Americans can learn to deal with nursing moms sooner rather than later.